Where I'll be speaking next

Me talking

Flying an allnighter

FOR, www.theflightattendantreport.com

First, let me say once again, this story happened to a Flight Attendant who is not to be named, working for an airline that is not to be named. She is still an active Flight Attendant and loves her job.

Now, here's the story - as she told it.
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So, I'm working an allnighter, JFK - SFO and then back. We were to fly to SFO, unload, clean the plane, reboard, and back. We're on a 757. The doors to the tiny bathrooms on our 757's are bi-fold doors. They push in. They say PUSH right on the door in the center, so, if anyone reads what they say and follows instructions, they would easily get into the bathroom...But no one ever reads what it says on the door. Instead, especially in the middle of the night--- people stumble to the bathroom, in the middle of the plane, and they grab the little tiny handle right under the word PUSH, and PULL with a lot of force. The door of course slams shut. Won't open while they are pulling on it. Then the people get confused, and PULL harder. The door still won't open. So, for a minute, they let go of the handle and stand there...Sometimes scratching their heads. Usually, I walk by about this time and stop them, and show them how to open the door, but if I'm not there...They will continue on, ultimately reaching for the old metal ashtray that is stuck into the side wall next to the bathroom door (from the days when smoking was allowed on board) and grab the outside frame of the ashtray, and PULL with all their might, and rip the entire ashtray out of the wall. Then they come to me, where I'm stocking the cart in the galley, or working on the cart in the middle of the aisle, and say, "The Bathroom door handle is broken, and they hand me the ashtray." In this case, I follow them to the bathroom, and very graciously point to the word PUSH. And I point to each letter and say, "P.U.S.H." And I smile, then give the door a little push with one finger, and it opens. The people are grateful and a big chagrined. Now, this is the way it is supposed to happen, I mean, my response part. But, one night, recently, after flying from JFK to SFO, and then heading back, for a turn around...I was exhausted. Plus, every two minutes while serving beverages in the aisle, someone tapped on my shoulder and handed me the ashtray and said, "The bathroom door handle is broken". So, I took desperate measures. I went into the galley, unfolded a white napkin, placed my hand flat on it, traced around my hand in black ink and wrote PUSH in large letters in the middle, and then taped it to the bathroom door. AND IT WORKED. Everyone who came up after my note, slowly put their hand over the traced outline - finger by finger - and did what it said -- they pushed with the flat of their hand, the door opened, and we had found nirvana. But, not 10 minutes after my sign went up, I was in the galley stocking the cart, and I heard, BAM, the banging of the bathroom door as someone PULLED on it. Then I hear a voice say, "The bathroom door is broken."

Now, I'm not proud of what happened next and that's why you will never know my name or my airline.

I lost it. I just lost it. I STORMED OUT OF THE GALLEY, and pointed to the large white sign on the door and said, "PUSH! PUSH! P.U.S.H. CAN'T YOU SEE? ARE YOU BLIND?"

That's when I saw his cane. A red tipped cane tapping on the floor. "Well, yes' he said,'actually, I am.'

Now, I'm not proud of how I tried to cover this up either, sometimes the truth isn't pretty -but here's what I did. (Give me a break - I had nanoseconds to think). I changed my voice to a very deep voice and said, "SHERRY, THAT WAS SO RUDE. YOU WILL NEVER WORK FOR THIS AIRLINE AGAIN." Then in yet another voice, very kindly I said, "I''m sorry sir, can I help you. She was so rude."

And the awful, night terrorizer Sherry, was never heard from again.

And that's the whole story. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT REPORT FOR THIS DAY